I need you so much closer

Rant

2012-02-06T00:42:00.001+08:00

I'm supposed to be lying on my bed with my eyes shut right now, but I shall blog a little since I haven't been blogging...

Been on a Tumblr rage lately again. Guess it's the stress that is building in me... I guess, Tumblr brings me into another world I've never imagined myself to be at. Whether they are models, ordinary people, clothes, cities, flowers, or even the most boring thing being photographed, these pictures turn out to be so good, you can't help but to reblog. When you look back at your own Tumblr, it just makes you smile or feel sad just because those pictures which you've reblogged represent who you really are, how you felt at that point in time when you reblogged, or even how you are feeling at the moment. Tumblr is just so amaaaaazing. You see all the beautiful people who most likely you'll never bump into, you see those cities and scenery which you may never get a chance to see in your whole life since the world is that big. You see the way people dressed up and you get inspirations from their outfits. They have the most amazing boots, outerwear, denim shorts, bralettes etc and you always wonder where they get them from. You get jealous cause you want them so badly, and the people look so flawless and you are dying to look as good as they are and as much as you are full of envy, you reblog the pictures anyway because the people just look so good in them/the items look so good even when photographed without being worn.

Tumblr, like any other social platform, started out slow and quiet. Then more and more people use it and now people are saying its overrated. No doubt it is, but overrated doesn't mean it has lost all it's goodness. Yeah I know, some desperate people actually start asking who and who to follow them that kinda shit. But this doesn't make Tumblr any less worthy because thousands and thousands of pictures are being reblogged every minute, every hour, everyday. You stop Tumblr-ing for a few minutes and when you refresh the page, a whole load of fascinating goodness will just spam your Tumblr newsfeed again.

Alright, rant is over. Goodnight xx

2011-12-27T08:17:00.001+08:00

Granny passed away yesterday morning. We were damn lucky to be able to talk to her (even though she didn't respond) before her heart stopped beating. Each time we talked to her, her rate of heart beat increased. I just hope it would resume back to normal and the doctor would tell us she's out of danger. Two days ago, I just visited her. I even told myself to visit her last night. But it's all too late. I miss you a lot, grandma. I remember when you could still walk, you would go downstairs and ask us to stop swimming and come up for dinner. You would buy random accessories for us. You would buy the school bags with wheels for us just because it's in trend and you knew we would like it. You would cook excellent Nonya dishes for us because you're a Nonya. Your balachan prawn is the best, and your soup... Everything. And after you didn't have enough strength to stand long enough to cook, we started to eat outside. Then you didn't have strength to even walk, you used the walking stick, as much as you didn't want to, because you said it's ugly. Then you had no choice but to sit on a wheelchair... And hospital was like a second home to you. You grumbled about the pain all day long, you refused to eat medicine, you had no appetite, but we couldn't do anything. You told us almost everyday how much you wanted to leave this world so all these suffering could end. Now, you're in another place. A happy place, where you are reunited with grandpa, and you need not suffer anymore. A place of no worries... A place where you can watch over us.Thank you Grandma for your love and concern ever since I was born. You won't be able to read this, but I hope you would be able to feel it, cause I'm whispering it to you with my heart.

2011-12-25T02:41:00.003+08:00

I've said whatever I wanted to say. Now I just feel so light. Like I'm floating in the air. Not literally, of course. The load is off my shoulder, finally. No matter what it goes, just go with the fucking flow~~~

And X'mas gathering at Dino Store just now was so fucking FUN. I'm so happy. I seldom celebrate X'mas but I believe this celebration with the dinosaurs will be one of the best celebrations in my whole life. The sound of laughter spreading across the store as we teased each other, the sound of people chatting about the whatnots of their lives, the crumpled sound of the wrapping papers as we had our gift exchange, the sound of people jumping for joy as we received the gifts... Honestly, I've never felt this way for a long time. My childhood was so much more interesting than my present state. When I was in primary school, we had gift exchange among our cousins. And I remember we were so afraid to receive present from this particular aunt cause she would gift the receiver assessment books. HAHA. But now to come to think of it, maybe the present might not be as satisfying, but the temporary happiness when she handed the gift to the receiver existed for a few seconds. Haha. The adults stopped the gift exchange after a few years because they wanted to cut cost. Now you heard it, fuck you inflation. Then we would eat our share of the log cake delightfully. Come to think of it, unlike occasions when we sing "Happy Birthday", there isn't any particular X'mas song which we will sing before cutting the log cake right? Unless there are people who sing:

You better watch out

You better not cry

You better not pout

I'm telling you why

Santa Claus is coming to town

before they start to cheer and clap and then proceed to cut the log cake. Haha.

But this year I'm so really, extremely happy. It might just be a simple celebration but for once, after such a long time, it just felt like Dino Store was back to how it was a year ago. This familiar feeling just warms my heart now whenever I think of the earlier celebration we had. :) I'm going to sleep happy later. Ah yes, I promised myself I would wake up at 7 for a jog but lookie at the time, it's 3:00 AM now. Guess I shall persuade mommykins to jog with me at night then.

Toodles you poodles.

I wish the Santa who is dropping by my house later will not get stuck in my chimney haha

And tomorrow morning I will build a big and a small snowman right outside my house and they will be facing my direction as I enjoy a cup of hot chocolate seated near the fireplace.

And of course I will play with my pet, Rudolph as well!

Sigh, and all these are just part of my imagination. :(

&

2011-12-23T08:48:00.001+08:00

"&":This will remind me to move on in life no matter what happens.

2011-12-12T02:15:00.001+08:00

Forgive, but never forget. It's still hard for me to try to even think that everything is fine, and we're back to normal. The truth is, this has happened too many times and I am so used to this. I need time.

2011-12-08T01:05:00.001+08:00

I don't know what I'm thinking right now. My mind is in mess. I ought to reply... I know. But I'm really sick of you coming up with so many excuses. Really, you say you are tired and sick of your life. You think I'm enjoying it? Work school work school. A fucking no lifer. Now now, I'm not going to compare how pathetic our lives are cause everyone leads different lives. But you should know that in order to make something work, you need to put in effort - understanding and concern. You don't score in an exam without revising for it; You don't speak a language well without learning the bits of it and piecing them together; you don't learn how to ride a bike without falling hard enough.

I remember the last time when we texted continuously throughout the night. You were facing some problems and I felt your sadness and worries. I am thick skinned enough to admit that I was there for you. But when everything was fine in the end, you disappeared as soon as you just appeared.

I'm feeling so confuzzled now but I don't know who to turn to. This sucks. Sleep is the best remedy.

2011-12-07T00:49:00.001+08:00

You're going away tomorrow, and I only know cause you blogged about it? Haiya seriously I fuck care already luh, do whatever that makes you happy. Three cheers for our friendship? Hahaha biggest joke of the year.

Random little things that make me smile

2011-12-06T07:18:00.002+08:00

It feels so good, lying on the bed, hiding under my blanket and doing nothing. Okay I was actually browsing tumblr on my phone before that, and blogging right now.... It feels so good to not worry about school and work for a moment, just staring at the stars glowing on the ceiling, listening to the noises made by the soccer fans coming from the tv which dad is watching at the moment, and songs blasting from sissy's com in another room. Dad has just turned off the tv. So much more quiet now that I can even hear the tick-tock sound of my clock. Right now, I feel happy. It's those little things in life that actually make us feel good. Even if it lasts only for a while, it still works its magic and overwhelms us, leaving a fuzzy feeling behind.

X'mas will be here... Soon. My favorite day ever. I just realized the X'mas decorations which I hanged in my room last year are still here. Lazy bum is my first name. Imma buy more decos and decorate my room such that I'll want to bask in the X'mas spirit and never want to leave my room. Hahaha. Time for some exciting plans ahead! And oh, baking and X'mas shopping with Ariel <3 speaking of which, I wanna get this small drawer from ikea. It's dusty blue in color and it's so cute. And I wanna eat their chicken wings, salmon, diam cake :(

2011-12-02T08:24:00.001+08:00

I'm going to get a third tattoo today. Third and hopefully the last one. Hope it turns out great. Can't wait already.

2011-11-26T10:28:00.001+08:00

"I don't tell anyone secrets anymore. I don't find a need to. It's like, maybe they don't even care. Sometimes it's really better to swallow everything down on your own than to rely on people. Relying on others won't get you anywhere, and it really hurts more if you lose them in the end."

2011-11-13T22:00:00.002+08:00

Today is Mumsy's birthday. Decorated a cake from The Icing Room! :> Bought a sweater for both mommy and daddykins since they are going to Taiwan on Tuesday. It's a pity that I'm not tagging along. Le sigh, fuck school? Haha. Two make up classes in addition to my normal classes this week. I foresee an awesome week ahead - spending most of my time in school. Get used to itttt. Haha. And recently, I fell in love with Kiiroitori. (What's new?) Rilakkuma's friend. The chick is so cute I wanna hug it real tight. Then I went to Tabao and bought a kiiroitori phone casing and many pouches. I have three kiiroitori pouches right now. Too cute. Can't wait for my casing to arrive. Andddd, I'm going Zoukout! Can't wait.

2011-10-17T18:25:00.018+08:00

Too tired/lethargic/lifeless to blog. Shall post pictures that I took throughout the month with my trusty iPhone.

Celebrated Irene's birthday at Raindrops Cafe. It's at this little corner at Scape. Really cosy spot, but it was so quiet. The whole night when we were there, there were only three groups of people dining there including us? But the food was so good. I love pasta but not to the extent that I'll order them frequently. Ariel suggested sharing mushroom aglio olio and fish&chip. The pasta was.... 'Nuff said. Ever since then, I crave pasta almost everyday :"( And the staff asked us to try out some new desert that would be added to the menu soon. Aaaahhh I couldn't stop eating. And I absolutely love the lightnings outside the cafe. Staring at the little bulbs of orange and blue lightings hanging on the branches in the darkness, it felt like X'mas to me. Even when I look at the picture now, I can just imagine walking around town with x'masy songs playing everywhere.

Ate BFF with my BFF. Haha. Walked past this shop selling baked potato (Seriously it's my weakness) and I immediately entered the shop. The baked potato looks kind of gross in the picture but it isn't! The amount of cheese on the potato is not overwhelming and I ordered the broccoli one. Healthy me haha. I want to try the bacon/sausage/tune/salmon one the next time I go back there.

Celebrated Khat's birthday at Wild Honey. I think the English Breakfast was awesome, but the caramel coffee iced cold was meh. It's not ice blended (initially I thought it was) and it tasted average for the fact that it costs eight bucks. Just imagine paying $5 for a ter terik... You get what I mean. Regretted ordering this and I took only a few sips and let Hy finished the rest.

Ending this post with a random "Outfit of The Day" picture (with a Toy Story poster at the back hahaha do not judge) and my favorite cuff.

Have a good evening y'all. Feel so good that I've just updated my blog :") Hate the feeling when my blog gets abandoned for weeks...

2011-10-08T08:40:00.001+08:00

Haven't been blogging. Been busy with school and work. Really need a break. And I finally did my second tattoo. Loving it. Dad and mom found out about my tattoos and they were shocked, but cool with it. They forbade me to tattoo again though. Hmmm.. Anyway, I'm thankful.

Did it on the right side of my ribcage. Hurt like crazy, but I've no choice since I want it hidden. And it was done in... Ten minutes? Love it. But I should have inked it at a higher position.

2011-10-03T18:25:00.001+08:00

WESTLIFE GRAVITY TOUR 2011 in Singapore is starting in a couple more hours FYEAH.

I'm so stoked for it!!! That I can't breathe.. Huff huff huff...

Just kidding! Going to meet Shirls now and head to the indoor stadium soonish!

XO

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

2011-09-18T17:28:00.003+08:00

What do you do when the people around you are upset?

The first thing you do, is to comfort them. You place your arm over their shoulder and assure them that everything will be fine in the end. You tell them it's okay to cry, to be upset, to rant about anything and everything. Cause when you're at the lowest point of your life, the only way to go is up.. Life will get better after this. Definitely.

But... I still feel so helpless. Some say the best way to help someone is to be there for them. But why do I feel that the company alone is never enough. Being there for them, lending them a listening ear help, but only for a while... Sometimes, I really want to rip their heart out from their rib cage, get it mended, and then put it back. Sounds morbid, but if it works, I don't mind at all.

To me, what hurts the most is when you're alone at night and everyone else is sleeping, the silence is enough to calm you down, such that your mind goes blank. For a moment, you aren't thinking about anything. Then you recall why you're so upset in the first place, slowly but surely, the bad memories devour the calmness in you.

When you're asleep, you don't think about the sad things. So you choose to sleep. You switch off the lights and slowly make your way to the bed. It's a cold night. Your skin, in contact with the bed sheet and blanket, makes you even colder. You tremble and try to stay warm by covering yourself with the blanket. The darkness makes you shudder. The memories are back to haunt you again. Unknowingly, your pillow case is wet. You've been crying. And, what's worse is that you're not even asleep... You remove the blanket and stare at the ceiling... As the clock ticks by, you wait and wait until you fall asleep. And the next day, you wake up to the ray of sunlight on your face, and you struggle to wake up, knowing that it's a brand new day, and it's time to embrace what's ahead of you...

"Sleep"

2011-09-15T02:44:00.006+08:00

2011-09-14T11:07:00.001+08:00

Hi,

Didn't get my ink in the end. The Daily Dozen was closed, and other places which I asked for the pricing, cost about $200. Don't bear to spend so much at one go... Haiyo.

School is starting... Nine more days. My first lesson better be good since I'm attending with shirls and Hy. Lucky for their presence, if not I guess I'll be more lost.

Celebrated Jaycel's birthday at J.O.

Attended Shirley's 21st and the dress code was polka dots for the ladies and stripes for the men.

Her piñata. I would love to hit a piñata in a shape of a llama.

Four season's durian mooncake. Feels like you're in heaven as the durian melts in your mouth.

O.P.I Crown Me Already. Not a fan of those glitter polish but this caught my attention. And of course, ttengy was so good with persuasion, I couldn't not get it. Haha.

Eyecandy. Cole Mohr. Love his ink.

So disappointed seriously. I wish you would realize... And change.

Mmhmkay off to watch Skins.

2011-09-13T02:13:00.001+08:00

What the fuck? I don't even.... Okay need to think and breathe properly.

This is fucking crazy.

2011-09-07T21:54:00.006+08:00

I admitted that I splurged quite a lot on clothes last month (and since forever). What's new. The guilt is really getting into me cause I really overspent last month. Think westlife ticket, shoes and prom dress for sissy, birthday present for Godmum... But I'm not complaining at all. I love to see the people I love be happy. But recently, I've been holding back. There are a few items I really want to get. But I didn't... When they went out of stock, my heart sank a bit, but I'm satisfied with the fact that my bank balance did not deplete. Yesterday, I wanted to get this pair of oxfords but mom stopped me. Usually, I would just get it but I put it back onto the shelf (albeit unwillingly hahaha). But when I walked out of the shop, I didn't regret not getting it. Same for today, I brought some money along with me to spend at H&M. Upon seeing the crazy ass long queue, I cringed. To be honest, it reminds me of the queue during the Borders' sale and I kind of have a phobia for long queues already. Haha. And the stuff I'm eyeing on aren't stuff that I MUST GET. So... I saved money again. And I saw this shrug with feather prints THAT I REALLY LOVE, but I didn't get it... Pffft. I guess I've really matured (lol).

I've been relying on online shopping for such a long time, it just feels weird not buying stuff online for maybe few days or a week or so. I foresee a bleak future ahead (regarding work) so I guess I might as well save the money for next time...

I've been thinking... A lot. But I guess I'm always one that thinks too much for my own good. I get very paranoid over insignificant matters especially recently. I find my thoughts haunting me every now and then, I wish I can tell the people around me about it but then again, I feel that my worries are too stupid and redundant and that not a single soul should know about it. I don't know... I've so much to say but It's just so hard for me to vomit my thoughts here and the "Backspace" button has been pressed just too many times...

School is starting in about two week's time... Maybe the workload will get me back on track. Well I really don't know... I want to take out my brain, tilt it aside so that the bad memories can be "poured" away then I will put it back.

Hmm, I'm feeling another ttt... Since I haven't been spending money lately, maybe I should do another ink next week. Oh well shall see how.

Random muse

2011-09-03T01:46:00.001+08:00

Went to Borders' sale with Ariel at expo today. The crowd was... Massively crazy. Just imagine queuing up for about two to three hours just to pay. The queue is never ending. Just when you think it's reaching your turn soon since you are near the cashier, soon you realize your hopes are dashed because the queue leads to a few more big rounds before you reach the counter. Our back ached so much. And we bought Koi too yayy.

I remember borrowing these books of different series when I was a child... I love 'em all and always felt sad whenever I had to return them back to the library. This is the only Berenstain Bears book I came across during the sale... I had to get it. It reminds me so much of my childhood and since I'm on a drawing frenzy and the illustrations are so lovely, I couldn't not get it.

I bought it for about six bucks? 50% off every item. Love leaves hehe.

This is too cute. The design with those chinese words reminds me of the 70s, 80s period. The material is like those "pasar malam" kind but it's sturdy!!! Never knew Borders sells such (cute) stuff haha. Now I regret not getting a bigger version of it but a different design, a marshmallow tofu or something.

Oh, and I bought a fiction book for about ten bucks and HP and the Goblet of Fire DVD for about six bucks?

Had lunch with Ben the other day...

Entered this shop selling random stuff. Couldn't make up my mind which set of bookmarks I should get so I bought three packs.

And a random picture of my new socks.

Shall read HP until I fall asleep...

xx

2011-08-25T02:58:00.001+08:00

Yesterday night, I fell asleep without switching off the lights in my bedroom. Mum woke up and helped me to turn off the lights when she heard me saying in my sleep," Kor Kor... Kor Kor..."

I really miss you Brother.

2011-08-19T23:07:00.008+08:00

Someone threw away my stuff. The very first time, she swore that she did not throw it away. The second time I asked her, she said she could not remember if she really threw it away. I guess this explains everything.

I am way beyond disappointed and upset. The item has been with me ever since I was six or seven? People may think it's plain stupid to be upset over losing such stuff but whatever really. My childhood made up a huge part of my life, and not to forget I have vivid memories of my childhood. Even till now, I am able to recall the times when I was in nursery. I am emotionally and physically attached to the memories that I have thus far... That is why I am so reluctant to throw away the stuff that I have kept since I was young. Once I lost the pillow mom sewed for me and I cried throughout my Genting trip. Few years ago when I was in poly, I thought I had lost the polaroid film I took with uncle Ronny. I cried and searched for an hour and thankfully I found it. It's now neatly tucked in a folder inside my organiser and every now and then, I open my organiser to ensure that the instant film is there and sometimes when I accidentally misplace it, my heart dies a little until I find it again.

Whenever I'm upset, I recall the childhood memories and they put a smile to my face; those genuine smiles that come from the happiness within the heart, not those smiles that you flash at someone just to assure them you are fine and dandy, stuff like that. As I grow up, I grow up and away from people. You do not know who you can trust. You give them the benefit of doubt at times. But do they even deserve that? Sometimes it is better to stay away from them than to pretend that you all are friends. It is nothing but a pile of lies stacking up. Or maybe, you seek temporary happiness from this "friendship" that you actually have friends. But when night arrives, everywhere is so quiet and you are too caught up with your own thoughts, ask yourself, can they really be labelled as the friends you are looking for?

I guess I am too attached to my childhood. This is not good. I need to be slightly detached from them. All these are in the past... They cease to exist. Shouldn't I be more worried about the present and the future? If I were to visualize with my naked eyes how my future would be like, I could say that I am blind.

Good night. I hope for a better day tomorrow.

It will be... It better be...

Good..

2011-08-16T20:56:00.001+08:00

I'm so annoyed with myself. Few months ago I promised to sleep before 12 and I managed to do it. But now I don't see myself on my bed even before 1 am. And not to mention the amount of junk food I consume during work on a daily basis. The weight gain is quite obvious and seriously, it's not doing good to my body. But, I love to eat. And omg it's like you're in hell when you work without snacks on hand. Food is a must when I'm working if not I'll be complaining till work ends. And it doesn't help at all even when I ask the staff to give me more food (and tolerate their nagging that there will not enough for others and I'd better not waste food). Half an hour later, I finish my food and head to the washroom. Skip the 7-11 store so I will not spend money on junk food. Then I start complaining that I'm hungry again while walking back to the store. Other random days, I bring cash along to reward myself with some snacks from 7-11, thinking to myself,"Doesn't matter if I spend money on food. Long day today. Need to survive" OR "since I'm off tomorrow I'll choose not to snack then. Time to buy some snacks for today!" and I walk merrily to 7-11. Halpppp. Even if I don't spend money on snacks, my colleagues will buy them too and I'll be like,"I'm so damn hungry can give me some food?" like some beggar I know. And Cherry loves bringing food to store. Did I mention I ate two subway cookies and chocolates thanks to her..... They tasted so good I didn't care about the consequence. But now I'm so regretting it. Le sigh. I sound like some ignorant puppy barking away but I really need to stick to simple meals. No snacks, less meat, more water, sleep more. Sigh sigh sigh I know I should stop complaining when people on the other side of the world has nothing to eat. Buttt I just feel hopeless. My low self esteem is really getting to me. Sigh just wanna live in a hole whole day so people will stop judging.

2011-08-12T09:30:00.001+08:00

I've always like to draw. Just that my drawing is that bad. Haha. But I still love drawing anyway. One day, May and I were drawing and I was like," hey, maybe I should get a sketchbook and have my imagination drawn out on those white papers (with some help of the storybooks of course)." And so, I bought the materials! Can't wait to start drawing... Aahh I love drawing. It makes me calm and happy. Like some sort of peace within me. Haha! Shall start drawing... Maybe tonight?

And I'm starting to collect Harry Potter books. Bought book 1,2,3 and 7. Three more to go! No I won't call myself a Potterhead there's so much more about HP that I'm clueless about. Still remember how the pupils in my eyes dilate when my friend told me she finished reading HP and the Goblet of Fire in a day. I heard some people manage to do that but I'm still ~shocked~ And... I stopped reading after I finished the third book. Sigh but owell I'm catching up!! Teehee. Dinner with seven dwarfs after work!

Xx

2011-08-10T18:04:00.001+08:00

"Like flames, we ignite. But the fire will die off soon once we run out of wood, or when the candle wick burns until nothing is left. A person once who is energetic becomes weak as he grows old. And he can't help it. And slowly, he will become nothing but dust... And a gentle wind blow will scatter the dust to different places... Till he becomes nothing. Nothing at all."

O.P.I

2011-08-09T00:37:00.001+08:00

Love these shrek colors!!! Now I can "bring" shrek out with me heehee. Thank you Shirley bunny.

Fairy Lights

2011-08-08T21:42:00.001+08:00

2011-08-08T01:43:00.003+08:00

Things that make me happy:

1) Trees. Did I mention I wish to be a tree? Not those trees that are waiting to be chopped down, but those in the protected rainforests.

2) Waking up early in the morning before the sun shines into the room. I love waking up when the sky is no longer dark and there is a tinge of blueish sky in sight but the sunlight is not strong enough to blind your eyes. Waking up at 7.30 is ideal. Crazy as hell I know but I just love the morning feel. Like you're one of the few who has woke up among others and you don't feel as lazy.

3) Heading out for breakfast and embracing the morning sun. I love this feel but I do the opposite anyway. I'm always lazy to get out of the house and my dad has to buy breakfast back for me. :/

4) The beach. Well, who doesn't???

5) Skyscrapers. I love the view of these high rise buildings when I look up while standing on the ground. Love how (most) buildings look sleek and modern. Especially when it's at night and I see their silhouette(!!!!)

6) Nice people. Obviously. I try to be better. Try...

7) Music. My earworm at the moment (or maybe forever) is Title and Registration by DCFC. Hmm and not to mention Westlife is coming to Singapore this coming October. Hee, hee, heeee.

8) Needless to mention, GOOD FOOD (Potato is included yes but of course!)

9) Receiving love from the people close to me :)

10) Taking a walk, next to Esplanade especially. I'm usually one who thinks a lot and so I appreciate the quietness (somehow or rather).

11) Beautiful fairy lights in the room. Like when your room is pitch dark and you switch on those fairy lights, making your room look like it belongs to a fairytale book. So whimsical.

2011-08-04T12:11:00.007+08:00

USS with Cherry last tuesday. I'll never get bored of USS. Love thrilling rides so much. BSG is getting boring. I wanna fly to US of A and take the craziest ride. I think my heart will do a double flip though. Heh.

The dolls look quite creepy actually

And we took Dino Soaring!

Soaking wet after taking Rapids Adventure

Dinosaur shaped nuggets, SO CUTE. Couldn't bear to eat them hahaha

I'm a lion, hear me ROAR

Love this potrait :')

The evening sky was damn beautiful

I want to live in this castle

"URASSIC ARK" hahaha

Took more than 10 times of roller coaster rides in total. Can't get enough of them although I guess my brain shifted a bit after many overturns. Hahahah. Bought a gingy head cushion for myself teehee. Can't get enough of gingy. I've about six of them at home now... Uh oh. The day ended with us taking Rapids Adventure ride twice in a row without getting out of the boat since there was only TWO of us taking the ride itself and we knew the people working there as well. So fun, so fun. Can't wait to enter USS again.

2011-08-03T21:38:00.000+08:00

I'll... Get used to it.

2011-07-31T00:23:00.001+08:00

THIS.

2011-07-27T23:17:00.004+08:00

I miss the times when we reached loyang condo and I would ask Granny if you were at home and if she nodded her head, I would run straight to your room and hinder your sleep by stepping on you (I was so much lighter), withdrawing the curtains and letting the sun rays fall into the room. I miss how you taught me to swim and I was so lazy to learn but still, you taught me patiently. I miss how you always bought souvenirs especially phone cards and our favorite seaweed for us. I still remembered when you bought this ufo machine and we watched it fly, albeit not a great height. I miss playing with your huge doraemon plushie which could be flipped outwards to a Dorayaki plushie. I miss the time when you bought a car and you drove us to the airport and I sat at the front seat. I miss the time at Simei when I sat on your duck plushie and slided down the stairs and ended up hurting myself. I miss the time when I would always tell you the school happenings and you would always lend me a listening ear. I miss the times when you would flipped open your collection of Egyptian books from your cupboard, equivalent to a small library.

But why does it seem like as we grow older, we actually grow up and away from people? We used to have so much to talk about in the past but now, I... don't even know what to tell you. Knowing you've migrated, your presence is good enough for me, my sister and brother, for everyone. I've so much to say to you but sometimes, it's not easy to cough out these words because I don't think you will understand what I have to say.

I miss you... so, so much, Uncle Ronny.

I miss you too much

2011-07-25T10:37:00.009+08:00

Celebrated Granny's birthday yesterday at Aunt's house. Supposedly we were going to have buffet, but she is too weak to move around. Sigh :( Anyhoo, took pictures using the polaroid. My cuzzies bought it for me for my 21st and so far I've used up almost three packs of films. Too addicted to using polaroid already hehe but the films are damn costly~ Okay anyhows, we had potluck for dinner. Dad cooked pork chops filled with biscuit crumbs on the outer layer and they tasted heavenly NOMZ.

While I was walking Granny to her bedroom, she was telling me how terrible she feels everyday, how her health is deteriorating and her memory is like of a goldfish's. She forgets things so easily, I had to repeat many times yesterday even though she asked a few seconds ago. I felt like crying when I heard that. Sigh.

The best part was... Uncle Ronny/Bom Bom Shu Shu came. :') How I have missed you so...

I guess I was too emotional. I ran up to him and told him that we must take a polaroid shot together. And he was unwilling, I pleaded him many times, telling him I would be angry if he were to refuse, but he still refused. And I cried... Omg how dumb of me. He was so shocked when I cried and he immediately promised me. But he disliked showing his face though. Sigh he either covered his face with a cap or he closed his eyes. But for me, a picture with him is more than enough. really.

2011-07-22T10:56:00.005+08:00

I want to smile whenever I reread my blog, thus I've decided to blog whatever funny stuff that I can remember.

I remembered in mid feb, uss had a staff preview for battlestar galactica. So me, Yq, Jx and Azimah decided to take the rides. Talk about kiasu-ness, Cherry called to tell me that only 200 wristbands were available on a first come first served basis. We panicked and rushed to the collection point only to find out we were the first. Soon after, the in charge said we were too early. And we waited for another hour before we collected the wristbands. The ride would be opened to the staff at 8 pm. So everyone started to queue at about 7.15 pm. The queue was really long and everyone seemed to be prepared to run once the gates opened. When It was 8, no one ran at all, much to my surprise. We took a shorter route to BSGand it was when everyone started to run. Okay, so we ran as well cause we were too stoked to take the rides. So there were two guys who were competing with me. One gave up halfway and said," I'm out of stamina!" I managed to overtake the other one and he said." aren't you running a bit too fast?!?" I was laughing when I heard that! When we reached BSG, we were gasping for air as if we had asthma. Cherry called me after that they were actually giving out 2000 wristbands, not 200. -_- It was too funny, and fun.

Last week when I was working day shift with Cherry, JPR ride was down. So the JPR staff were walking about. Rumors are spreading that someone likes Yq. Gordon saw one JPR staff standing outside the shop and he said,"eh, isn't that girl the one who likes Yq?" Cherry looked at the person and started laughing. Then she replied," Gordon, that's Melody's boyfriend eh!" it's super funny!!!! Haha.

2011-07-22T01:19:00.003+08:00

HTHT with hy almost the whole night. It just made me realize that I'm not overly sensitive, and whatever we've talked about was a spot on. So, whatever floats your boat? ;)

And I've stuff to blog! But not now. It's one in the morning. Shall blog when I'm in the train.

2011-07-19T02:10:00.004+08:00

I hate the fact that I'm superficial. But I only ask for one time, just one time. And uh, before people judge me for being superficial, judging me doesn't make you not superficial.

------------------------------------

You did not change. But things around you changed who you are gradually. What happen to those good morning and good night texts? Guessed as much anyway.

Superficial

2011-07-17T22:06:00.002+08:00

On my way home from work. Too much on my mind. Too hard to fathom. Too hard to absorb what's happening around me.

Slowly... Sinking.

After all, he is a human being...

2011-07-17T16:35:00.003+08:00

"After all this time?"

"Always," said Snape.

2011-07-13T01:59:00.003+08:00

Things that make me sad...

#1: Nature. When I see trees being chopped down, oil spills onto the sea, forest fires... I think the world will end sooner than predicted. It's just so sad to see what has become of the Earth. We humans are just so selfish... I curse silently when people ask for excessive plastic bags... Really. Is there a need for it? Sometimes, I wish the world ends earlier cause the Earth has suffered way too much thanks to our selfishness and greediness.

#2: Old people, especially those who have to make a living even they are already old and frail. Of course it's good to move about than to laze at home doing nothing, but it breaks my heart when I see them washing the public toilets, collecting used items and cardboards. In short, jobs that most people will not want to do. When I was in bkk, I visited the noon market and it was extremely hot - 38 degrees. I melted, but of course. And under this umbrella, I saw an old lady, prolly in her 70s/80s and I'm guessing the younger lady next to her was her daughter, selling shower caps in assorted cartoon designs. They were sweating profusely and my heart sank when I saw that. They are making a living and this is what they have decided to do in order to survive. But it's really saddening to see the poor suffering like that when the rich people have so much money on hand, they have no idea what to spend on/fretting over what color of the designer bag they should get. And this is what they called "first world problems". That's the way the cookie crumbles...

#3: Sadness. I know this is inevitable and people feel sad every now and then. And sometimes it's good to have negativity in our lives so that we will learn to appreciate the good things around us. But too much sadness isn't good...

#4: Listening to a good song/ a song you can relate to but you know nothing lasts forever. The song will end as soon as you begin to listen to it. I know there's a repeat button, but somehow or rather it's still different. Especially when you like a part of this particular song and it just passes too fast. Same goes for a movie.

#5: Overseas trips. Of course going on a holiday is good. Before you leave for the country, you pack excitedly while thinking of the enjoyment you'll have soon, but yet, once you are on a vacation, you know that you will have to come back soon... One way to solve this problem: work extremely hard and earn loads of money. As soon as you are back from your vacation, start planning for another one. Haha... But I believe people get sick of the same things after some time. Just like how a rich lady thinks buying Chanel/prada/YSL is nothing much but an average lady thinks otherwise...

Have more to list down... But think that's enough for today. Listening to deathcab's new album as I blogged. Inner peace. Still missing Bangkok. Gone a bit too soon uh? Haha. Oh well, till then X

2011-07-07T16:26:00.002+08:00

On my way to the airport. Oh boy I'm so excited... Heh. On the other hand, it's a much needed trip cause I need to shop till I drop and I need time to sort out my thoughts. Can't wait to hang with Gla and Ariel! In the meantime, keep safe people xxx

2011-07-06T08:01:00.003+08:00

On my way to work. Haven't been able to blog from the phone. No idea why. But there you go. I'm blogging right now. Haha. Been quite anti-social lately (or maybe it's been quite a while), but I am building a wall around me, unknowingly, yet willingly. I really want to keep this blog alive by updating pictures from my 21st. Uploaded the pictures to photobucket and have them resized but the size of the pictures still remained when I uploaded them to blogger. Then I stopped blogging. Lost the drive. Urgh. Plus i was multi tasking. The voice of Damon Salvatore in the background as I tried to blog. Obviously I failed haha. Must get this done before I leave for bkk tomorrow evening... I haven't even pack my bag... Shall do that late at night or tomorrow morning. Still need to visit the post office in the morning to pick up my package. Time, I need you to stop right now...

One of my (failed) ambitions would be to become a writer. I would really hope to be one if I have the ability. But it'll never happen. I love how a person expresses his or her feelings by words. A picture speaks a thousand words, but when the picture is actually expressed in words, maybe you will realize detailed things you may not be able to interpret from the picture. Just like when a movie is made from the contents of a book, I'll still choose the book over the movie eventually.

I feel slightly cheerful now... I guess blogging really takes away my worries for awhile.. I've so much more to write but I was rushing to take the bus and so it slipped my mind. Shall blog soon. Xx

2011-06-25T10:27:00.006+08:00

And I was like,"Please please don't outbid me!"

And then I was like "AAAHHH! why do you have to do this to me!"

The battle continued and I unleashed my hidden power (to bid at the last few seconds before the auction ended)

And I was like,"YES YES YIPEE YAY YAY!" and I pranced about in my room.

I was afraid eBay was screwed up and I wasn't supposed to be the winner so I faster made payment heh heh :p

Wheeeee

I loveeee Hey Arnold cartoon shows ever since I was young. And I love "memories" so this is definitely gonna be a pleasant one!

In the meantime, I'm gonna pray that it will reach me safely. No disappointment this round okay? No no no.

2011-06-22T23:51:00.001+08:00

I WANT A HEY ARNOLD PLUSHIE.

Please.

2011-06-16T21:11:00.002+08:00

Gotten so much shit just few days before my 21st. Just fucking kill me now. Or maybe, I just want to disappear from the surface of the Earth.

Bye-bye

2011-06-06T22:57:00.013+08:00

A trip to town with The Family. And I bought four pair of cutesy socks. Heh heh. Time to have some fun with dressing up.

So our iron board is broken thanks to dad but he insisted the quality of it is too lousy hence it broke by itself... Erm... Hahahaha who will believe in that?!?! Anyhow, they decided to buy a new iron and a iron board and I had to persuade them like crazy that a garment steamer is so much more convenient and user friendly. I burnt my clothes umpteen times already. Not to forget once I burnt my NPCC skirt when I had parade the next day... I was so worried that I was wishing a time machine would appear right in front of me. I guess I was lucky that the teacher screamed at me only. :/ Haha. So back to the topic, I was begging them to buy a garment steamer because it won't burn our clothes. (Mainly my clothes heh) I've had enough of burnt clothes already!!! Waste of money and heartache. So yup, we bought it! Yay! But dad said that since it's so convenient now, we have to do our own ironing... Or I would say steaming. :/

And before we headed for home, we popped by the supermarket to get some groceries. I love trips to the supermarkets. It makes me happy. :')

Decided to take some pictures of random stuff while walking around the supermarket. I love the pictures. Hahaha thank you iPhone and your apps.

I really love this picture... It makes my day less dull with its vibrant colors.

I thought this looks quite funny.

My favorite out of all! these macarons are so huge I'm not even kidding. Will buy one home and try them someday!

My eyes are giving up on me. I'm dying to run towards my bed right now but I'm still waiting for the phone to finish charging. I'm known as an owl... But now I sleep before 12. Sometimes at ten sharp. Ahhh what has become of me?!?! What a dull, boring life I lead. :( Hahaha, but at least,I'm happy enough with what I already have. :)

2011-05-31T22:37:00.003+08:00

In approximately 7.5 hour's time, bro will be boarding the plane to Los Angeles. Bought a packet of dinosaur shaped gummies for him... This gummy is our favorite... Sigh. I can't fully express how I myself am feeling now. I don't even know it myself. Shit has happened in the past two months and I kinda hate him for being such a jerk. But at the same time, how can you even hate someone who has been living with you for almost 21 years? "Siblings are the worst enemies whom you love." So true, so true.

Tears are already pricking at the back of my eyes as I imagine bro entering the departure hall, pulling his huge luggage and waving at us...

Sigh. We will miss you sofa king much. :( I hope you miss us that much too....

See you again in 1.5 year's time. I will buy you a pack of dinosaur gummies. I promise.

2011-05-29T00:13:00.002+08:00

2011-05-25T13:00:00.001+08:00

Isolation/Solitude

2011-05-21T10:30:00.007+08:00

Good day spent with @yanbocarrot. FLB 6 followed by shopping at 313! Bought a khaki outerwear for brudder as a farewell gift. He's leaving for US of A in 10 day's time. For 1.5 years. Sigh. I will miss you so fucking much :'(

I've watched Mary and Max for the third time. But the more I watch, I find myself cry harder than before.

2011-05-21T03:43:00.001+08:00

2011-05-21T01:48:00.003+08:00

Hi,

have been planning to blog properly with pictures but I'm too tired. Later in the morning I guess. Work is sucking the life out of me. Although we have been ending work an hour earlier, I'm still so tired. Why?!?! It's like, I reach home from work, and I'm so tired I end up sleeping on the floor(lol) and my dad reaches home from work and wakes me up to bathe. Ew I know, but I can't help it...

It sucks that I have no time for myself. Waiting for the next off day where I can have an entire day to myself.. Reading a book at Starbucks, a cup of green tea cream by my side... sounds good :)

On a side note, Ariel has an extra ticket and she asked if I wanted to watch Lion King later at MBS. Oh hell yes!!! Heard that it's really good and I wouldn't want to miss it. Thanks Pei pei :)

Tried syncing "Mary and Max" to my phone but it's not working. Whyyyyy. And I'm going to keep trying before it works and then I will drag my lifeless body to the bed.

Good night X

Mary & Max

2011-05-19T23:25:00.003+08:00

Watched this movie with Shirls when we had a sleepover at her house. And we promised to watch Mary & Max together... She had watched it. I hadn't. And she kept telling me how much she cried while watching the movie.. I didn't think I would cry. That much. It was so heart warming to see how Mary and Max have treasured each other? To the extent both of them were willing to do anything and everything for each other. I must say... it's one movie that will make me tear no matter how many times I watch it. I was watching the ending few minutes ago and I couldn't help but tremble. That's when I know my tears were falling. This movie is too much for me to take, in a good way. This is going to be one of my favorite movies.

2011-05-16T02:16:00.001+08:00

Oh hey. Once again, I'm the nuisance for all these trouble. Argh fuckkkk. Sorry S.

2011-05-15T00:19:00.002+08:00

"Will someone please call a surgeon, who can crack my ribs and repair this broken heart?"

"If surgery is what I must undergo to fix this skeleton of a broken heart, then hit me with the morphine."

"Please call the doctor in, cause I'm not making any sense."

Too cute.

Liberation

2011-05-12T23:33:00.000+08:00

End of exams, yay!

Reached home and decided to pack my room, alike to a war zone. Mom had to help me out cause I was making a mess worse than before. And once again, my desk is neat! Hmmm but i predict my desk to be messy again a week later.

And while I was throwing away stuff and packing, I saw this note written by my primary school best friend, Yu Fan. She wrote something like this," Hi. thanks for letting me to be your friend. Best friends forever. I won't forget you. Call me!"

Hahaha... Isn't it cute..? Those childhood times when you think nothing fades and everything last forever. Though we seldom keep in contact now due to the different lifestyle we are leading, one of my closest friends will always include you in it.

2011-05-10T16:18:00.002+08:00

I did not see it coming, but once again, blogger has somehow become my virtual best friend again...

I hate myself :( Why do I feel that I fail at everything? :(

Time for a nap sigh.

Two

Days

I kinda wish time will rewind so I can put in more effort in my studies.

2011-05-10T02:10:00.002+08:00

At this moment in time, I'm struggling with Sociology revision when my exam is in 8 hours' time. Seriously? I don't want to fail. I don't want to fail. I don't want to fail. I don't want to fail. But somehow, my laziness just need to destroy what I want in life. And yes, I blame it on myself.

Just three more days. Ehh no, it's tuesday morning already. Just two more days to liberation. Well, fuck it.

I feel like...

2011-05-08T23:19:00.003+08:00

Crying...

I would actually have tweeted this and not blogged about it. i mean...This sentence is not worthy to even blog about, am I right? But... i am not ashamed to say that the number of my blog readers can be counted with my hands. In fact, I kind of prefer it this way. I think it's really best to keep everything low profile. That way, no one can judge you. No one will know much about your life (except the people whom you're willing to share with).

Yes I know. Twitter is a place for you to rant, to tweet whatever stuff you've in mind. But things aren't that simple, are they? If you tweet excessively, people may think you're annoying. If you tweet that you feel like crying, some people may go like,"attention seeking much?" You won't know what a human is thinking, what thoughts are running through their mind.

On a happier note, mumsykins and daddykins bought me a new phone. Can't wait for the deliveryman to arrive next Monday. Yip yip hurray!

If only an operation can repair a broken heart

2011-05-05T11:18:00.001+08:00

I love this song. It's on repeat in my ipoddy but it never gets old.

2011-05-01T15:53:00.000+08:00

I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU.

the sugary smell of springtime

2011-04-15T14:38:00.001+08:00

2011-04-10T23:21:00.002+08:00

This feeling...

It makes my legs wobble, it makes my lips tremble.

(On a side note, I love my header so much.)

XX

2011-04-08T23:56:00.004+08:00

Life has been really mundane these few weeks. School, home, studies, (slacking), (hanging out for a while)... and it's never ending. I'm not ready for exams at all. I've wasted the days enjoying, and now I'm trying to study as hard as I can. I'm so sick of studying (I bet others feel this way too). Exams are not even here yet, and I'm already sick of studying?!?! I need some help here. *Talks to my inner self* "Please, please, please buck up, inner self."

Been watching this local drama, "Be happy" on channel 8. There's this girl called "An An" who is blind since birth. There was this scene when she was eating hamburger and she was feeling the shape and texture, and that was when she knew what a hamburger is. But it has been on my mind for a while, and I just can't seem to find an answer to it. Lets say, maybe this blind boy needs help crossing the road, and a kind stranger offers to help him. And the kind man says," I will accompany you to cross the road. There are too many cars. It's dangerous." Since the boy lives in a world of full of doubts and uncertainty, how will he even know what does a car mean, how does it look like, or what does dangerous even mean when he cannot even see at all? He may reply back," what is a car?" Why will it be dangerous? What does dangerous even mean?" The stranger replies," A car is a vehicle that travels on the road. It's dangerous cause it moves fast and it may knock you down." And the boy replies again to clear more doubts...

Ah, I don't even know what I've mentioned earlier made sense or not, but a picture speaks a thousand words. You may not understand what this particular word mean but once you see someone performing that particular action/you see that item with your naked eye, that is when you are finally enlightened.

To them, sleeping doesn't make a difference because they are always living in a world of darkness, except that sleeping revitalises them. From the day they become blind to the day they lie on their deathbed, their vision of the life they have led so far, the world which they live in... is nothing but a piece of black sheet blocking their view of this beautiful world which mother nature has given us (yet we selfish human beings do not cherish what we have whereas the less privileged people want what we have so badly). Their willingness and determination to move on in life are so much stronger than the normal human beings.

When can we start to appreciate and be thankful for what we already have?

2011-03-24T03:12:00.006+08:00

This midnight's silence is overwhelming, overwhelming in the sense that you can't help but to let your thoughts run wild. There's no loud noises to kill your thoughts. These thoughts of yours are running about freely; anywhere and everywhere. As long as they are able to defeat your inner self and result in incessant worries, they would have won, once again.

Have you ever wonder... When your skin is already wrinkled like a prune and your remaining days are numbered, looking back at your past, you can proudly exclaim that your life as a teenager and adult have been fulfilling? No matter what it takes, you simply hope to relive just one day of the past to feel the extreme satisfaction that you once felt when you were younger?

Or maybe, you don't even want to be reminded of the life you've led when you were young. But this can't be helped, the memories are haunting you. You take a quick glance through the window and notice little children running around the playground and falling all over the place, crying and whining for awhile before joining the other children again. Across the narrow road, you spot a group of boys heading towards the convenience store for some cold drinks right after a soccer match. And you standing right there observing these people, you wish you are back to good old days, fulfilling the promises that you've made in the past but for some reasons, they were left unfulfilled.

Do you want to look back at your past in glory, or in regret...?

2011-03-15T13:11:00.002+08:00

I don't know what has become of me. I get really emotional nowadays. More of like... sad? The matters that I'm worrying about are definitely trivial as compared to what has happened to Japan.. But you know, this is this and that is that. Both are different matters. But I'm really hoping the best for Japan.

When I'm upset, I shop. Online shopping is only a click away. And I shop because it can give me temporary happiness. The moment when you receive an invoice for your item, or maybe you are browsing some US websites and you find something you really love and you immediately place order for it? That's when your wallet suffers, but for that moment, you feel some joy. You may be thinking to yourself," Omg this is one much needed retail therapy! I feel so much better now." But after a while, you stare blankly into the screen and as your mind starts to wander, you start to be reminded of what you've been worrying about in the first place. And the vicious cycle begins again.

My head can be a prison. My head is a prison. It traps my thoughts so badly, they can never go away.

Hot or hawt?

2011-03-10T00:07:00.004+08:00

This whole Fall Out Boy craze within me is dying soon, especially with them on a infinite hiatus... But they still live in my heart.... forever. I love how the beating of the drums and the strumming of the bass guitar give me the adrenaline rush, I love how their vocals make me fall in love with them (and their songs) all over again.

Despite people hating on them (seriously, whatever hahaha), I still have this thing for the band. It can never be explained...

I mean... Look at Patrick Stump..

He shaved his sideburns away and his hair is so much shorter now... He slimmed down so much. But still looking awesome.

Enough of being a fan girl for the night.

2011-03-09T23:11:00.003+08:00

I'm doing this action right now. Haha.

I count my little blessings and one of my them includes having you in my life. Thank you bestie for your presence. Be it a physical one or not, thank you. The moments when I'm grinning from ear to ear; when my heart weighs about ten tonnes; when I'm brimming with excitement to tell you my little secrets; when we have our gossip sessions... Thank you, for your existence.

I know words won't suffice for what you've done but.... Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I need you so much closer

2011-03-08T02:57:00.001+08:00

I'm pretty amazed myself from the dreams I had when I try to recall them. Some are really queer, say like, last night I dreamt that Joe Jonas and I attended college together (he was still part of Jonas Brothers in the dream) and we got together but broke up in the end? Lol @ myself hahaha. What a weird dream... Or maybe a hilarious dream like my friend doing breakdance in the train? Or dreams that literally make my heart sink right after I wake up... But I'm not complaining though. In fact, I love to dream. I love how dreams actually bring you into another world; more of like a world of your own where you may even experience stuff you haven't experience in real life? Not talking about nightmares though. Haha.

2011-03-08T02:39:00.000+08:00

"Holding hands may seem like an innocent gesture, but they show more than a simple interlocking of fingers. Your hands are one of the most essential parts of your body: you build with them, feed with them, hold with them, touch with them, fight with them; they are the tools of the human body. To take a hold of another’s hand is to break from living individually. It is to link yourself to another being, to momentarily entwine your life with another’s, to promise, for a moment, that you need not face the world alone. More simple, more aesthetically naive than other forms of affection, i.e kissing, hugging, sexing, the act of holding hands is often trivialized in its true implications. As the Beatles once said: ”All I want to do is hold your hand.”

2011-03-05T19:15:00.015+08:00

Auntie A arrived at Singapore last Friday from Bangkok. Had dinner Ma Maison and lets just put it this way, I died and went to heaven after eating it.... Ha.

Headed to the MBS Skypark only to realise that there was a private function going on and the infinity pool was not opened to the public. Boohoo :( Owell, shall visit the skypark with Ariel again!

Ma Maison means "Home"

What we had for dessert

Cold Rock.... Awesooome.

Birds in Flight

2011-03-04T13:35:00.002+08:00

Planning another ink.. This looks good.

Yikes, still gotta save up first

My first DM

2011-03-04T01:02:00.007+08:00

My shoes arrived today... I'm so so happy! My first ever pair of DM boots. More to come? Heehee. The postman was friendly and cute! I was struggling to carry the boots since the shoe box was kind of bulky and he even helped me to close my gate!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Things change... People change too. Have you forgotten what we actually promised each other a year ago, or even, just a few months ago? I guess, people need to learn to survive alone after all. Whatever floats your boat.

2011-01-18T23:53:00.003+08:00

Sometimes, I hate variety shows. I think they are stupid and they are only good at mocking at others.

I was watching a variety show while having my dinner... and the show was about people showcasing their talents. There was this guy who actually invented some lighted up thing alike to a peacock plumage. The lights were blinking in rainbow colors and albeit it didn't match up to what the judges were looking for, I thought he deserved some credit since he designed it himself. One judge rejected him by pressing the 'X' button while the other two were covering their mouths and laughing. The audience started to break out in laughter as well. But the performer continued to perform, trying to synchronize with the blinking of the lights. The two judges rejected him in the end and started commenting on his work. One said something like," you should at least be replaced by a suave guy or pretty girl." (The performer was in his 40s-50s). The rest of the judges gave nasty comments... I thought was pretty hurtful but since you want to be famous, first, you got to accept criticisms in order to improve.

Then the judges asked for his thought towards the end. He said he decided to perform on stage so he could impress his wife and make her proud, someone who had been bedridden since three years ago. His daughter (if I don't recall wrongly) came up on stage to comment about her dad, and pictures of the performer and his wife were flashed on screen...

And then the judges and audience decided to applause and some even started to tear and give him encouragement. Seriously........

FUCK YOU.

Only support was given to him when the people realized that what he did was all out of love for his wife. What if his family wasn't in such a bad state and his reason to perform was that he hoped to be recognized for his hard work and that he truly wished to be an inventor one fine day?

If he didn't mention his bedridden wife and just walked away without commenting further, I guess people would just continue to look down on him, mock at his creation without realizing he had actually put in so much hard work, he would at least appreciate some applause as a form of encouragement?

So fucking disgusted by human nature, human beings who are only good at criticizing others when these people don't meet their expectations; human beings who don't appreciate the effort these people have put in; human beings who don't look into the mirror to look at themselves before even criticizing others.

2011-01-13T02:06:00.004+08:00

Pitter Patter...

2011-01-11T00:18:00.005+08:00

It has been raining the whole day. The rain has just stopped. It's still rather cold though, but I'm lazy to wear a pullover.

I've always loved the rain. Rainy days seem so perfect. Staying at home and be a couch potato, munching on snacks in your over sized pullovers. Or head out to town dressed up in pullovers, parkas, or knitted cardigans without getting judged. It's a rainy day, it's the perfect excuse to dress up in anything thick and knitted. But to me, rainy days seem so gloomy as well. The dark sky, the sound of the raindrops that hit against your glass window, the sight of people crossing the street with brollies, the sight of the continuous rain drops on a particular spot, forming a puddle... and the list goes on. People associate sadness with rainy days. Like when you watch dramas, when a couple breaks up, it happens most of the time when it's raining? And the viewers start crying with a box of tissue beside them.

Rainy days.. albeit the perfect weather to sleep in, they make me sad.. Actually I guess maybe I'm fortunate enough that Singapore doesn't snow. Look at the places with snow. When the sun sets, the whole place seems so dark and gloomy. I guess I might just become really unhappy for the whole snowing season if I were to live in a country which snows.

2011-01-09T09:09:00.001+08:00

"@pillybaxto: I've given you too much, I'm taking back my love."

USS

2010-12-28T00:38:00.017+08:00

The family went to USS last monday. Had breakfast at toastbox before heading to USS. Was kinda full by then and was afraid that we would vomit out the food. Mom vomitted tho, guess the rides were pretty vigorous for her :(

Anyhoo, we reached at 10 on the dot (Singaporean's spirit - kiasu-ness hahaha) but there was a long queue by then. BEAT THAT. So I rushed my family to take the rides first. Seriously, I wouldn't want to wait an hour or so in the noon to take the ride. It would have been a waste of time. So yeah, took Revenge of the Mummy's ride twice! Oh boy, love the thrill of it. And we headed to Jurassic Park to take the Rapids Adventure's ride! Dad and Mom were so lucky. They still got wet even with the ponchos on. And then we went on to take Canopy Flyer! I always thought that ride wasn't scary but I was wrong. It's quite scary actually, more than what I had expected! And we headed to Far Far Away after that for another family roller coaster ride, Enchanted Airways! And I couldn't resist but to buy a gingy charm bracelet for myself :) Heh Far Far Away is so far my favorite place in USS. Maybe I will change my mind after Galactica and Tranformer are opened? Hmmm.

Had lunch at Fossil Fuel, a place which sells delicious hotdogs! The bill sumed up to a total of $9x! The horror. Luckily I had staff discount and food vouchers as well. And I bought myself a long bottle! I'm drinking so much more water at home now ever since I bought the bottle. Not complaining though.

Wanted to catch the Waterworld show at 1.30 but it was full by then. So we went to queue for Shrek 4D and I'm still amazed by the effects even though I've watched with Hy they all before! Haha. Walked to the New York zone to take pictures (I love that place so much) before catching the Waterworld show. I didn't take any pictures of it using the camera except with my crappy phone cus everything happened too fast! LOVE the effects of it, the bombing, the crashing of the plane... practically everything. It was so so so GOOD. Before the Waterworld show actually started, the performers actually splashed water at the audience. Bro and I were busy observing this guy who got splashed three times. When he dried himself, he got splashed and was wet thoroughly. And the cycle repeated. It was a really funny sight. And karma bit me in my ass. One asian performer was holding a bucket of water when he suddenly turned and aimed the bucket at my direction and tada, I got wet, especially my hair. Mom brought a small towel so while I was drying my hair, the performer saw me cleaning up and squirted me with water using some water tube. ._. But it was still an awesome experience.

Went to watch the hurricane show by Steven Spielberg and again, thumbs up :)

Shopped a bit then we headed to aunt's chalet for bbq.

Alrighty, pictures!

Best Mom in the universe ♥

Cute guy spotted working at Carter's Curiosities hehe

This is the place where I bought my Gingy charm

Fish eye effect makes one's face even fatter

Love close-up, unglamourous shots

The most unglam of all. Silly bro. ♥

The long bottle!

Dad being his usual self ♥ (Look at his shirt! Still half wet from the Rapids Adventure's ride)

♥

Many people, including this guy, were shielding themselves from the water. HAHA.

Awesome or very awesome?!?

P.S. Can't wait for Galactica's ride to be up!

P.S.S. Can't wait for tomorrow. Or maybe, later (since it's already 2 in the morning).

Xx

2010-12-08T01:45:00.010+08:00

I was looking through the pictures in my folder and I saw the pictures we took when we clubbed. Black pepper chicken, salmon chunks, baguette, junk food, a bottle of vodka, coke, green tea, dressing up, drinking tequila shot, sex on the beach, heineken, tiger beer, sharing of secrets (when you're high and drunk), pissing strangers off, back to the hotel, mr bean for breakkie. One of the best experiences I ever had in my life.

I miss the three of us when we used to hang during the attachment period so, so much.

2010-12-08T01:26:00.000+08:00

So pretty...

You do what you love, and fuck the rest.

2010-12-04T02:34:00.007+08:00

Have you ever wondered... When is the time, when you realise you've really grown up.. Facing a reality which is anything but sugar sweet?

When I realise tooth fairies don't exist, when I realise Santa is a myth, that's when I realise, I'm no longer a kid. I'm no longer that little girl whose anger can be appeased by candies.

I must admit that I have had a pleasant childhood, and the memory of my childhood is still vivid. I hate the fact that my life doesn't revolve around the things we used to do when we were young, like spending the whole day in front of the telly without getting bored. I still watch cartoons occasionally, like Hey Arnold, The Wild Thornberry and Rugrats. Few of my favorite movies of all times are Ratatouille and Toy Story. I've some of these episodes in my laptop. I watch whenever I'm upset/free/miss the past and I'm slightly happier again. I really like what the cartoons have to offer. Somehow or rather, the ending will revolve around family and friends. And you learn something from it too. Things you don't learn in school. Some people may think I'm too old for this kind of shit. But honestly, if this can make me happy, I won't mind the fact that I'm childish. I think of it as being young at heart.

Long-haired girl

2010-12-02T18:54:00.005+08:00

Hi.

Caught Rapunzel with my sister just now. The storyline, the characters in the movie are just perfect. But hello, it's a fairytale we're talking about. I've lived long enough to know that such happy endings won't exist. Hahaha. But to be honest, if everyone were to lead such a life like Rapunzel, Cinderella, Snow White... Won't life be... mundane? Like, no one would even treasure the fairytale-ish lives they have since there is no sadness in their lives/they don't see anyone getting upset. Hmmm. Oh well, maybe some sadness might actually be good for us. Haha.

Starbucks was giving out free drinks from 5 to 7 pm. I didn't even bother to queue. Too busy sneezing my life away. I had no mood for anything. But still, love the short moments spent with my sister shopping for grocery especially on a rainy day, when the supermarket is filled with loads of x'mas goodies and x'mas songs! Hahaha. No word can describe my joy during the x'mas season.

Speaking of x'mas, I still remember last year this time, I blogged about my wish...

"I wish for a week where I can spend Christmas in a snowy country. I imagine myself living in a small house made out of wood. All the bushes and trees covered with falling snow will surround the house and there will be a snowy pathway leading to the house. Inside the house, there will a knitted granny blanket over the wooden chair next to the fireplace. Beside the chair will be a cup of hot chocolate, some butter cookies spread out on a porcelain plate and a good book for reading placed neatly on a round oak table. Few metres away from the fireplace will be a bed with a few thick layers of blanket, a pillow, bolster, and of course not forgetting a brown teddy bear half covered by the blankets. The bed will be so cozy such that I will immediately fall into deep sleep once I hop onto it. Next to the bed will be a window that would have been misty by now; and I will briefly rub away the mist so I will be able to view the snow falling from the sky, now dark with twinkling stars. I will feel the warmth being covered by the blankets but yet feeling the cold from the touch of the glass window. So ironic. In front of the bed will be a telly that has so many of my favorite channels, I will never ever want to leave my comfort zone. And then the morning arrives with the glaring sun rays waking me up through the window, and I see myself preparing and dressing up with thick layers of clothes, a woolen trenchcoat and snow boots, not forgetting a multi colored beanie that will instantly brighten up my day. Before I leave for the city for some western breakfast, I will take a shovel to shove away the snow on the pathway and off to the city I go.

Ah, even if it doesn't happen in real life, I feel comforted even by imagining it. :)"

White x'mas please? With a cherry on top?

P.s: Confession: I teared just now when Rapunzel's dad cried before they released the lanterns. Hahahaa..

Starting afresh

2010-12-02T01:57:00.006+08:00

I have decided to create another blog just to import all my old posts to there. Which means... This blog will be a fresh blog once again. My life is pretty messed up right now. You may see me being happy-go-lucky and all but it's just... I don't blog about it. I don't think any one will like to wash their dirty linen in the public, unless you're talking about blogging privately. Ha.

I know I've repeated many a time that I will blog conscientiously. But I have failed to do so. So ashamed to even talk about it. But I'll try to... I've come to realise that sometimes, you can't trust anyone but yourself. So for now, I shall trust Blogger, Twitter and Tumblr.

Since I'm already here, I'm just going to say whatever I'm feeling/my recent happenings. Hardly anyone reads my blog already (which is a good thing btw), so it's even easier for me to blog out what I've in mind.

On 17th november, S & I decided to get inked on the left side of our ribcages. Well getting inked is fucking painful. But well, if you really want to have something memorable to stay with you for life, the pain is definitely worth it. Whenever I see the ink, it never fails to remind me to cherish those memories that I have. Whether they are good or bad memories, these are part of who I am today, right now, at this moment. And right now, I'm proud to say, FOB lives in me literally :')

It did not occur to me that our friendship will turn out to be so awful. Like... We do the stuff that the best friends do together... We pinky promise to ink the "bun" symbol (hahaha). But right now, all I (and maybe you) can see is this crack. Our friendship is just like a porcelain bowl; sturdy and lasting. Someone walks past the table and accidentally knocks into it. The bowl falls onto the floor and is broken into pieces by now. The broken pieces are just like the reflection of the current situation we're facing; broken and destroyed. It would be impossible to glue back the broken pieces, so a new bowl is bought to replace the old one. The new bowl is exactly similar to the old one, sturdy and lasting as well.. But have you realised..... the owner may have so much sentiments in relation to the old bowl, whereas the new bowl doesn't make him feel the same way as he has felt for the old bowl?

However.... as time passes, he would have gotten used to the new bowl such that the old bowl (in the incinerator by now) doesn't bother him that much anymore?

What I mean is... Both of us need time... This friendship definitely won't end. But if we try to patch up even without realising what's the cause of this crack in our friendship, both of us won't be happy. We'll constantly be haunted by the happenings. Both of us will only be pretentious in the end. And this is what best friends should not have towards each other.

Time, that's what both of us need.